Mistakes
by the lola
Summary: "His conscience knew he was a monster.He often ignored his conscience." Drabble series, a collaboration with RecessFanatic2011.
1. Abuse

A/N- This is a collaboration for **The HPFC Collaboration project - competition. **Our assigned character is Lucius. This drabble is by me. Hope you all like it, review if you did! :)

* * *

He knew the things he did were wrong.

Maybe not in the surfaces of his mind, but go deep enough- into the darkest concaves, with the cobwebs and the dust, then that was where you would find the part of him that knew wrong from right.

Narcissa had been gone again- she was always gone. He needed her.

She was _his._

He didn't like being possessive, but it's what he was.

Possessive and protective.

When he walked into that room- that's when his world came crashing down.

When Bellatrix cackled over his shoulder- that's when his ego diminished.

When Narcissas' beautiful head popped out from the sheets- that's when his heart crumbled.

When Rodolphus' head too popped up, that's when he saw red.

He had wanted to take his anger out on Rodolphus. But a shattered glass to his face wasn't enough.

There wasn't enough blood. The bored look in his face was not enough. He needed to cause _pain._

Bellatrix wouldn't let him go further.

He didn't want to anger her.

She wasn't so _pretty _when she was angry.

Maybe two glasses was enough. A punch. But it wasn't.

Narcissa actually tried to _stop_ him.

His rage flew out of control. His anger was always simmering, barely kept under wraps.

_It wasn't his fault. _

He didn't even use magic. He did it the _muggle _way.

Slapping her until she was curled up on the floor trying to protect herself.

Bellatrix just giggled.

Rodolphus left.

He kicked at the floor and forced her home.

His conscience knew he was a monster.

He often ignored his conscience.


	2. Vengeance

This one is by RecessFanatic2011. Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to review!

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He knew his obsession with revenge was becoming too much.

He tried to tell himself the only reason he did it, was because he cared too much for other people.

He knew all the consequences and that it was always for his own advantages.

One little slip up, and he would come after you. Revenge.

He didn't like this trait, but he couldn't keep it under control. Despite all the times he thought he felt horrible about it, there was no regrets, not really, about any of it.

The only thing he didn't know, was how it affected the ones that he cared for the most.

All his lies for the ones he loved did was cause unnecessary tension, tears and angst; this was probably the reason for his marriage breakdown as well.

Of course he was completely oblivious to this; he was good at blaming other people for their misfortunes, but he never realized it could be his own fault.

He said he did it for his family, everyone knew he was lying.

The only thing he had ever cared about was himself and getting power.

At the end of the day,

it had always been for himself.


	3. Lust

A/N- This one is by me!

* * *

"Mm…" Bellatrix groaned as he bit down on her neck until he drew blood.

He _loved _Narcissa, he truly did.

It was just _lust _with Bellatrix.

Was it wrong?

Definitely.

Did he care?

Not at all.

She dug her nails deep into his scalp, causing little stabs of painful pleasure.

Narcissa didn't have to know.

_No one _had to know.

It didn't _mean _anything.

It was** just** lust.

"More," He groaned, tugging hard on her wild hair.

It wasn't really adultery…

He refused to class it as such.

Lucius Malfoy did not _cheat_.

_It didn't count if it wasn't sex. _That's what he'd tell himself, anyway.

It was _irrelevant. _

She dragged her nails down his chest, scratching and scraping, yet the only thing he could feel was pleasure.

_Pleasure through pain._

Was it sadistic? _Probably_…

Did it matter? _Made no difference._

He loved Narcissa, he loved Narcissa, he loved her. He did!

Why did he have to keep convincing himself then?

What was this?

_Lust. Lust! _His mind screamed.

_Adultery! _His heart whispered.

It didn't matter.

She did it to him.

It was revenge - this time not on purpose, but still, revenge.

Why was there always this blur between right and wrong?

She wasn't enough.

Neither was Narcissa.

He didn't care.

Hastily he unbuckled his trousers and tugged at her bodice.

Nothing would _ever _be enough.

He didn't care.


End file.
